Beginnings To Ends
by stranded chess piece
Summary: One-shot. My version of some scenes from 'Heaven And Hell'. Limp Sam.


**warning: spoilers for 4x10 'Heaven and Hell'**

**disclaimer: I still don't own them**

_Hi, this is the last one-shot in my little series. I'm still undecided as to whether I liked this episode or not, so it was hard to get inspired to write this. **But**, here it is. A lot longer than the others. It's my version of the second half of the episode. Well, most of the second half. I loved the final scene between the boys, so I left that alone :)_

* * *

Sam resisted the urge to swipe the books clear off the table. He let out a tired, frustrated growl and fell forward, face landing in his hands, elbows against the table top. He massaged his temples. The dim light in the cabin was hurting his eyes.

From across the room, Ruby watched him silently. She sat, slumped against a wall, her knees to her chest.

Sam's heart was in his throat. He'd been pouring over the pages of some of Bobby's old books for what seemed like forever. He was desperate to find something, _anything_ that could help them out of this awful situation.

_"Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight or we hurl him back to damnation."_

Sam's breath scraped the back of his throat. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. Once again, they were up against the clock and time was their enemy. The angels wanted Anna, or they would send Dean back to Hell.

A cold sweat stuck Sam's shirt to his back. His fingers trembled. He squeezed the bridge of his nose.

Dean had gone for a drive with Anna. Sam had wanted to go with his brother, but had decided against it, realizing that Dean probably needed some space and fresh air. He'd sat himself down with a stack of books instead, resolving to search each one until he found some hope of an answer to their problem. He would speak with Dean only when he had something useful to say; not just the usual _it'll be fine_ and _we'll sort this out_.

This _wasn't_ fine.

Sam reached forward and slammed the nearest book shut. Dust burst from its pages in a small cloud. He watched it settle on the table top. He could feel Ruby's eyes upon him.

Still she remained silent.

Earlier, he and Ruby had had a disagreement. Ruby had wanted to dump Anna, claiming that it was suicide helping her out.

Sam had argued.

Ruby had told him about Alastair, the demon who was hunting them on Hell's behalf, and what he could do to them.

But Sam had continued to shake his head, refusing to back down.

Ruby had then accused Sam of letting his skills become sloppy because he hadn't used his powers; if he practised, he might have a chance against Alastair and they wouldn't be in so much trouble.

But Sam had rejected her words. He wasn't going to use his powers anymore because he'd promised his brother that he'd stop. _"We'll find another way," _he'd claimed.

But… the night was creeping on. And so far, no other way had presented itself.

Sam turned in his chair. He blinked scratchy eyes across the room towards Ruby.

She uncurled herself and blinked back. Her features were rigid, her gaze dark.

Sam wouldn't let Dean go back to Hell; but neither could he forsake Anna. His eyes darted towards the door, tracing his brother's footsteps. Dean's face had lost colour when Anna had relayed the angels' ultimatum. Sam _needed_ to find a way out of this.

"It's useless." Ruby pushed up from the floor, her gaze unwavering. "I'm telling you, Sam, this is a dead-end street. This is the _worst_ situation we could be in. We wont live to see it through."

Sam swallowed jaggedly. He didn't want to listen to her. He couldn't resign himself to accepting her words, even though, deep down, he was so scared she was right. He opened his mouth to speak.

A sound from the door held his tongue.

Ruby spun towards the door. Her shoulders stiffened.

Sam managed to push himself to his feet just as the door flew open. A sharp burst of panic through his gut told him that it wasn't Dean and Anna. His instincts screamed.

In a rush of wind, Alastair stepped into the room and the atmosphere suddenly changed.

Pressure filled Sam's ears. His heart hammered violently with shock.

Alastair regarded them for a cold moment, before lurching forward and grabbing Ruby by the throat. He threw her into a wall before she could do anything to stop him.

Sam's thoughts stampeded through his mind. He wasn't sure how the demon had found them, but he was here, and his eyes darted to scorch Sam.

"_Where _is she?" Alastair demanded.

Sam held up his hands, ready to fight. He was shaking all over. He bit his tongue, refusing to reply.

Alastair whisked his arm in a wide arc, sending Sam barrelling towards another wall.

Sam felt his back crack as he hit the wall. He crumpled upon the floor, his body wailing in agony.

Alastair loomed over him. A sickening expression travelled across his features and his lip twitched.

Sam tried to move, but his muscles were locked.

Alastair leaned down, coming closer.

Sam wanted to squint away. He could feel the demon's breath against his cheek. It burned.

"Anna doesn't seem to be here," Alastair hissed irritably. "So I chose you to help me find her."

Sam jerked and spat in the demon's face.

Alastair crushed Sam with invisible force. His eyes darkened further.

From across the room, Ruby attempted to get up. She was thrown back down as her movement was sensed.

Sam's eyes watered. He prayed that Dean wouldn't choose this moment to return. He didn't know where his brother was, but he hoped that Dean was far away from the house.

"This is going to be interesting." Alastair clutched Sam's shoulders and jerked him off the floor.

Sam cried out at the motion. His whole body felt stiff and broken. The demon's fingers drew blood as they dug into his arms.

"I've already had the pleasure of playing with your older brother," Alastair announced coldly, dragging Sam towards the door. "When Dean was down in Hell, we had some great times. Now I get to play with you."

Sam didn't know what the monster was talking about. He tried to fight free of the vice-like grip, but it was no use. He caught a glimpse of Ruby and realized with despair that she was unconscious.

"You'll tell me where Anna is," the demon stated confidently. One of his hands released Sam's arm and grabbed a fistful of his hair.

Sam was dragged by his hair. He felt some of it tear from his scalp. He cried out, but his voice broke in half.

Alastair just laughed. He spun and directed Sam's head into a doorframe.

Sam saw the doorframe. He felt the sickening crack. Pain seared through his skull.

And then everything was cast into darkness.

* * *

Dean was standing in the cabin's barn. He couldn't remember coming here. The barn was silent. The last he recalled, he'd been in his car with Anna, comfortably resting in her arms upon the back seat. They'd left Sam and Ruby behind and had driven a mile or two from the cabin. They'd pulled off the road and had sat in the car, talking and… one thing had lead to another. He must have fallen asleep.

"I'm dreaming," he said aloud.

Suddenly, as if to confirm his suspicions, the air shifted behind him. Dean turned and came face-to-face with Uriel.

The angel's eyes were unwelcoming, his gaze oppressive.

Dean squared his shoulders. He pulled himself straighter. He hated the way Uriel looked down upon him. "What do you want?"

The angel didn't reply straight away. He regarded Dean. Eventually he said, "We want the girl."

Dean felt frustration mount within him. He hated the fact that something had broken its way into his dreams. He hated that he had no privacy anymore. He forced confidence into his voice. "I wouldn't try anything if I were you," he stated. "See, she's got her grace back. She's a bona-fide angel now."

Uriel snorted. "Nice try, kid." The humour fell away from his face and he reached into his shirt, snagging a chain that hung around his neck. A vial containing a swirling white light swung into view. "That'd be a neat trick, seeing as I have her grace right here."

Dean's heart stammered. He blinked at the vial, his bluff exposed.

"I take it you received our message." Uriel's voice was slow, each syllable deliberate.

Dean clenched his fists, snapping himself out of his trance. Of course he'd received it.

"It would be so easy," Uriel continued, "to send you back to Hell." He tucked the chain back under his shirt, concealing his stolen treasure. "I'd barely break a sweat."

Dean snorted; although his insides shuddered at the memories that came with the mention of Hell. He lifted his chin defiantly.

Uriel's lips parted in a sharp smile. "You _are _replaceable, you realize. We can easily find someone else to fill your shoes."

Dean wanted to wipe the expression from the angel's face. Uriel's threats didn't frighten him.

Uriel stepped closer. "If you don't hand Anna over to us by midnight…" The intensity of his gaze increased. He didn't finish the sentence. He didn't have to.

Dean got the point. He was seething. He tried to ignore the sweatiness of his palms. Anger pushed his words over his lips. "Go on then." He stiffened his shoulders to stop them shaking. He swallowed roughly, standing before Uriel and holding the angel's stony gaze.

Uriel extended a hand threateningly.

Dean's heart hammered. He resisted the urge to close his eyes. He _wasn't_ scared.

Uriel's face cracked into a more sickening smile. He dropped his hand, stepping around Dean. He chuckled as he circled the hunter.

Dean felt the skin on the back of his neck prickle. He shot the angel a sidewards glare.

Uriel shoved his hands into his suit pockets. He rocked on his heels, regarding Dean with satisfaction. "You act so tough, but inside you're like a child ready to piss his pants."

Dean remained stiff and silent.

"Make no mistake, boy, I know how to break you." Uriel dropped his voice to a low growl. "You might think you can win this, but you're wrong."

Dean tore his gaze from the angel.

"You mightn't value your own life, but there _is_ one life you value above all else." Uriel's brow twitched.

Dean felt fear shoot through his body. It gripped his bones like ice.

"You know who I'm talking about," Uriel said stingingly.

Dean wanted to pound the creature right then and there. It was an abomination. It was lower than all the demons in Hell. He had to force his breathing back under control. He speared the angel with a shattering glare. "Get the fuck out of my dream," he hissed. "Right _now._"

Uriel's laughter was rattling. "Or _what_? You'll _smite _me?"

Dean's fury boiled. He cursed under his breath.

The angel spared him no sympathy. "It's time to choose, Dean." His voice was a rumble, like thunder. "You can either give us Anna-" The corner of his lip twitched. "Or we'll take Sam."

* * *

Sam cried out, but the gag in his mouth prevented his voice from escaping and he choked on his words. Bile rose in throat. He willed it back down. If he was sick, he'd suffocate. Tears cascaded down his cheeks and pain ripped through his body. He was strapped to a bench, titled almost upright, and the surrounding room was claustrophobic and unfamiliar.

Alastair pressed the blade of Ruby's knife into Sam's shoulder, applying just enough pressure to slit the skin. He withdrew it again.

Sam had lost count of the number of times the demon had cut him. He was desperate for it to stop.

Alastair angled the blade, and pushed the tip into the already open wound, opening it further.

Sam cried out again. His chest rose and fell in sharp bursts.

"Where's Anna, Sammy?" Alastair lifted the knife and held it before him. The blade caught the light. It shimmered with Sam's blood.

Sam cursed viciously. Against the gag, his words were muffled. God, he wanted this to stop. But he wasn't going to give up the fallen angel. No matter how much pain he was in.

Alastair returned the blade to Sam's skin. This time he cut across Sam's side, tracing the line of one of his ribs.

Sam felt fire ignite across his chest as his flesh opened. Warm blood poured down his side, throbbing through the wound. Dizziness engulfed him and his eyes rolled in his head.

Alastair slapped him abruptly across the cheek.

Sam's vision swam, and then refocused.

"Stubbornness must run in your family," the demon sneered, bringing the tip of the knife to Sam's right cheekbone.

Sam's throat convulsed. His ears were ringing so loudly that he could barely hear anything the demon said.

"First it was your father." Alastair applied pressure to the knife. "John and I had some good times. He was a hard egg to crack." He pressed harder. "I enjoyed my time with him immensely."

Sam felt the knife slit his skin. His eyes watered. He could see blood welling from the wound. He squeezed his eyes closed, terrified.

Alastair laughed. "You have _no_ idea how excited I was when your brother turned up." He withdrew the knife. "_Another_ Winchester in Hell. It was like an early Christmas present."

Sam didn't want to listen to the demon. He didn't know what Alastair was talking about, and he didn't _want_ to know.

"Open your eyes!"

Sam tried desperately to twist away as the demon pried his left eye open. The bonds around his forehead and chin held him in place. The knife tip was a blur as it hovered dangerously close to his eyeball.

"You might think you can take it, but I guarantee, you'll be begging for mercy once I'm through with you." Alastair's features twisted. "Even the strongest men break." He brought the knife tip to rest in the corner of Sam's eye.

Sam couldn't breathe. He frantically fought the urge to suck in air, lest he shift the knife into his eye. Tears spilled down his face and he refused to blink. Ruby hadn't been wrong when she'd described this demon's carving skills. Sam's stomach knotted violently as it reacted to the strain upon his mind and body.

"Your brother broke," Alastair hissed coldly. "You should ask him about that sometime."

Sam began to make a small noise in his throat. The knife was stinging his eye. He was convinced it was cutting him. He couldn't see through his tears.

"You'll get to see Dean again, if you tell me where Anna is." Alastair ran the knife under Sam's eye, and traced a circle. He brought the tip to rest just above Sam's eyelid.

Sam felt the blade sting, and blood ran into his eye. His vision, on the left side, went completely red. He began to sob; he couldn't control it. It burst from him.

Alastair laughed some more. "So how about it, kiddo, where is she?"

Sam blinked the blood from his eye. It streamed down his face. The blade had been removed, but the cut continued to throb. Sam wished he would just pass out. It would be so much easier if he just passed out…

A handful of seconds ticked by, and Alastair's face darkened further.

Sam _wouldn't_ tell him where Anna was. The demon could try what he liked. He could _kill_ Sam if he liked. He'd been mistaken when he'd thought that Sam had anything worth living for. Despite the physical pain, Sam's insides were numb. They'd been numb for months.

Alastair growled, and gripped Sam around the throat.

Sam's windpipe felt like it was about to collapse.

"Foolish child!" The demon squeezed harder. "You'd give your life for a fallen angel?"

Sam would have smirked if he could have. _No, but I'd gladly give it for my brother_. He knew that if he told Alastair where Anna was, he would be putting Dean in danger too. Sam had made a lot of mistakes in his life; he'd be damned if he was going to make this one.

Alastair boiled with rage. He released Sam's throat, and drew the knife back as if to plunge it into Sam's stomach.

Sam watched the blade with indifference. He was in so much pain already. It really didn't matter if the demon killed him. In fact, it would probably be a relief. He resisted the urge to close his eyes. He wasn't frightened of death.

Alastair suddenly frowned. Abruptly he lowered the blade and cocked his head, as if listening.

Sam couldn't hear anything; he was still deafened by the sirens in his ears. He fought to stay conscious, confused by the demon's sudden shift in demeanour.

Alastair's lip twitched. He pinned Sam with an angry look. "You'll have to excuse me. My phone is ringing."

Sam blinked desperately against the blood and tears in his eyes. He watched as the knife was tucked into the demon's jacket.

Alastair crossed the room. "We'll resume this in a moment," he stated.

Sam could barely swallow.

Alastair turned, and quickly disappeared from sight.

* * *

Ruby stood in the centre of a crossroads. The hex bag she'd lit still burned upon the ground, small blue flames licking its sides. The night was cold. The air was still.

"Come on," she hissed. Her knuckles flexed impatiently. Her head ached.

She'd woken in the cabin. Sam and Alastair had both gone. Her stomach had dropped at the thought of the demon having Sam. She knew what Alastair was capable of. She'd run through her options, and had decided that her best bet was to call the demon here. She would negotiate. Sam might be ready to give his life for Anna, but Ruby sure as hell wouldn't let him die if she could help it.

"Well, well, well."

Ruby spun around at the voice. Her eyes connected with Alastair's.

His face twisted in a sneer. "You're brave, interrupting me while I was in the middle of something important. This had better be worth my time."

Ruby stood her ground. She didn't doubt that his '_something important'_ involved interrogating Sam. "We need to talk," she stated.

He reached into his coat and drew out her knife.

She bit her lip as she regarded the familiar blade. It was stained with blood.

"You're looking for this?" He asked, holding it before him. "Your gawky human friend gave it to me." His eyes shimmered wickedly. "Oops. Looks like I got it dirty." He wiped the blood upon his coat.

Ruby wanted to snatch the knife and plunge it through his heart. She refrained from lashing out. "Keep it," she growled. "That's not why I wanted to speak with you."

Alastair didn't flinch. It was obvious he knew why she'd summoned him here.

"You have Sam," Ruby said levelly. "You're trying to find out where Anna is, but Sam's not talking." She knew Sam wouldn't cave in so easily. It hadn't been long enough. Sam was strong.

Alastair didn't reply.

"I can tell you where to find Anna." Ruby spat the words out before she had a chance to regret them. She couldn't think too hard about this; it was obvious that it was either the fallen angel, or them. The choice was simple. "In return, you let me and the Winchester boys go free. You don't follow us. You leave us out of whatever dispute you have with the angels."

Alastair held her gaze. He was silent a moment longer. His silence fed the tension that hung between them. Finally, he laughed. "I'd always heard that you were a devious, cowardly little slut," he said coldly. "Now I know it's true."

Ruby brushed off the accusation.

"You'll lead me to Anna?" The muscles in his face twitched.

Ruby guessed that Sam had caused him some grief. She felt proud of the young hunter for testing Alastair's patience and causing him to become so irritable. It worked in their favour. "I will," she replied. "But like I said, you let me and the Winchesters walk out of this in one piece."

Alastair's lips curled into a splintered smile. "How do you know that I haven't already killed little Sammy?"

Ruby kept her face neutral. She didn't know for sure that he _hadn't_ killed Sam, but she knew the way the demon worked and figured that he'd probably kept Sam alive. "Sam comes with us. That's my condition. If you've killed him, I wont talk. Then you'll have to kill me too, and you wont have Anna. It's as simple as that."

Alastair cocked an eyebrow. "It's nauseating how attached you've become to humans."

Ruby remained silent.

"Makes me want to cut my eyes out when I see you with them." His gaze was stormy.

"Do we have a deal, or not?" Ruby was eager to get this over with. She had no desire to discuss her feelings for either Sam or Dean.

"I should kill Sam, just to see you cry," Alastair muttered.

Ruby shook with rage and impatience.

"No," he snorted. His voice dropped. "No, I wont. Not this time." He paused, and nodded slowly. "You've bought yourself a deal, girly."

Ruby released the breath she'd been holding. Her shoulders remained rigid.

"I'll take you to your precious Sammy," he told her.

She bobbed her head. "And I'll take you to Anna. Let's go."

* * *

Dean had barely spoken since he'd woken up. He'd driven him and Anna back to the cottage, and they'd travelled in heavy silence the whole way. Now his boots crunched across gravel as he approached the building, and his heart stumbled in his chest. It was nearly midnight.

Anna caught his elbow. Her face was pale in the dim light spilling from the cottage windows.

Dean turned, but couldn't look at her.

She cupped his face. Her hands titled his eyes towards hers and she regarded him levelly, peacefully. "It's okay, Dean," she whispered. Her words were tragically honest.

Dean pulled away. He mumbled that he didn't know what she was talking about.

She continued to watch him, the blanket of peace not lifting from her features. Her eyes travelled through him. "I know that they made you choose," she explained calmly. "I know how they work, and what they would have threatened you with. I'm sorry."

Dean felt his throat grow tight. _He_ was the one who should be saying sorry. "Anna-"

She lifted a finger to his lips and shook her head.

Dean held his tongue.

"It's okay," she repeated. "You need to know that it's okay. I forgive you." She paused, and then continued, "Please forgive me for putting you in such an awful position. I'm so thankful for everything you and your brother have done for me. You didn't have to help me, but you chose to, and I know you tried your best."

Dean felt like his insides had turned to stone. This was the story of his life; he was always trying his best, but it was never quite enough. He was sick of lousy consolation prizes. He was sick of his efforts never being _enough_.

Anna squeezed a smile and gently squeezed his elbow. She nodded towards the cottage.

Dean's gaze followed hers. They had to go inside and tell Sam what was going on. Castiel and Uriel would be here any moment. The angels would come for Anna. Anna seemed to know this, and was at peace with it. Dean was terrified.

"For what it's worth," Anna said quietly. "I'm glad I got to meet you."

Dean nodded sadly, only he wasn't sure that he agreed. It wasn't fair that he and Sam always seemed to have to say goodbye to anyone who wandered into their lives. He swallowed thickly, and approached the cottage door. He gripped the handle and pushed it open.

The small room was a mess. There were books all over the floor. By the looks of it, some sort of struggle had taken place. His breathing became shallow and painful, and he staggered over the threshold. Sam and Ruby were gone.

Anna gasped, entering behind him.

Dean's thoughts reeled. Sam was _gone_. He spun around. His eyes darted from floor to walls, from walls to ceiling. "Sammy?" As soon as the word tumbled from his lips, fear gripped and twisted his gut. He approached the table where earlier, Sam had been sifting through books.

The chair was on its side. Sam's notes littered the floor.

"Dean…"

Dean turned to see Anna crouching beside the door they'd just walked through. She was pointing to something on the doorframe. His eyes caught sight of blood upon the timber and he froze.

Her eyes met his.

Dean felt fury boil and churn within him. Uriel and Castiel weren't supposed to come to the cottage until midnight. If they'd come earlier and had taken Sam…

Dean's fists clenched. His vision tunnelled. He saw nothing but red.

Anna's voice jerked him back to the present. "The blood is dry. Dean, this must have happened not long after we left." She straightened.

Dean wasn't comforted. Guilt overrode his senses. He'd left the cottage because he'd needed some space and time to think. He hadn't even thought that something might happen to his brother. _Idiot_! He couldn't believe he'd left Sam alone.

Anna touched his shoulder.

Dean spun away. Perhaps the angels had tricked him. Perhaps Uriel had busted his way into Dean's dream _after_ he'd taken care of Sam.

"Dean-"

This _wasn't_ okay.

Dean strode towards the doorway. He was going to get every damn weapon he could carry out of the trunk of his car, and when Castiel and Uriel showed up…

There was a gust of wind. Dean's steps faltered.

The angels appeared in the doorway, blocking his path.

Dean snarled. "_You-_" he spat.

Castiel was first to step forward. His coat flapped about his ankles. His eyes skipped to Anna.

Dean backed up, and Anna came to stand beside him. Dean stepped in front of her protectively.

Uriel entered the room more slowly than his associate. His gaze swept past Dean and stumbled over the upturned chair and scattered books. His expression flickered.

Dean didn't give either of them a chance to speak. "Deal's off," he stated. "You don't get Anna. Not until you tell me what the fuck you've done with my brother."

Mild amusement passed over Uriel's features.

Castiel, for his part, stepped further into the room and surveyed the mess with an air of apprehension. His eyes finally met Dean's. "We haven't touched Sam," he stated levelly. His words were firm.

But Dean wasn't buying it. "Don't give me that bullshit," he growled.

Uriel's voice broke with a barely suppressed chuckle. "You'd be wise to believe us," he suggested. "We haven't touched you brother. As per our conversation earlier, that choice was left up to you. We didn't do this."

Dean read between the lines. Uriel hated Sam. The angel almost sounded disappointed that he hadn't been responsible for whatever had befallen the youngest Winchester. Unfortunately, the explanation wasn't good enough for Dean.

"Hand Anna over to us," Castiel instructed. "The sooner you do that, the sooner you can find your brother."

Dean's knuckles burned with the need to pound something. He needed to know where Sam was _right now_. He pulled Anna further backwards.

She struggled free. Her gaze bored into his.

Dean tore his eyes away from her and glared at Castiel. "No chance," he stated. "Not until I see my brother. Not until I know Sam's okay."

Uriel drew himself taller. "We don't need your permission to take her," he growled threateningly.

Dean let the words bounce off him. If the angels wanted Anna, they'd have to get through him first. If Sam was dead, then Dean didn't have anything left to live for anyway. "I want to know where my brother is," he repeated stiffly.

A sudden gust of wind whipped through the open doorway, as if in reply. It was colder than the wind that had heralded the angels' arrival. It chilled Dean to his bones.

Castiel stepped away from the door, and Uriel made a strange sound in his throat.

Anna grasped Dean's shoulders and jerked him closer.

Alastair burst into the room. His gaze shot towards Dean and Anna, and he quirked a smile. "Are we late for the party?" He asked wickedly.

Dean didn't reply. He couldn't.

From behind Alastair, two other demons entered, prodding Ruby and Sam into the room.

Dean felt his stomach plummet, and his heart stood still in his chest.

Sam leaned heavily upon Ruby's shoulder. He was shirtless, barely conscious, and covered from head to toe in blood.

* * *

Ruby's gaze collided with Dean's, but she refused to hold eye contact. Sam was heavy upon her shoulder and she could barely keep them both standing. As gently as she could, she lowered him to the floor and tried to prop him upright. Her fingers slid against the blood covering his skin and she struggled to stop him from falling forwards.

Alastair had done an outstanding job of carving Sam up. Each cut wasn't life threatening, but the number of cuts added up to a gruesome mess, and Sam kept slipping in and out of consciousness. Ruby had managed to stop the bleeding of most of the wounds, but Sam still looked like he'd been put through a shredder.

Castiel stepped forward, confronting Alastair with his outstretched hand.

Ruby tried to ignore them, focusing instead on measuring the gap between her and Dean. There was an entire room between them.

Dean stood with Anna. His face was drained of colour. His eyes were glued upon Sam.

Ruby held Sam tighter. She couldn't feel bad about selling Anna out. She _wouldn't_ feel bad about it. All she cared about was getting herself, Sam, and Dean out of here. They could argue about blame later. This colossal nightmare wasn't their battle to fight.

Uriel was rigid beside Castiel. He growled a threat directed at the band of demons.

Alastair just laughed maliciously. "Now, now, we can settle this peacefully. Just give us the girl, and we'll be on our way."

Castiel kept his hand outstretched. "Just turn around and walk away now," he growled. "You know who we are, and what we can do."

Alastair didn't flinch. His lip curled, amused. "I'll take my chances, kiddo. I'm not leaving without Anna."

"Suit yourself," Uriel hissed. He turned quickly and grabbed one of the two demons, hurling it against a wall and then spinning to face the next one.

Castiel took the opportunity to charge Alastair, barrelling him over. The demon went down, and Castiel snagged his shirt, hauling him to his knees. The angel placed his palm against Alastair's forehead, but nothing happened.

Ruby's heart leapt into her throat. Curses fell from her lips.

Alastair grinned. "Sorry, that doesn't seem to work on me." He knocked Castiel from his feet and fell upon the angel. His hands closed around Castiel's throat.

Uriel had exorcised one demon, and was already starting on the other. Light began to spill from the demon's eyes and it screamed.

In the midst of the mayhem, Anna pushed past Dean, lunging forwards and grabbing the vial that dangled from Uriel's neck. Without pausing, she smashed it upon the ground. A ribbon of brilliant light snaked its way into her mouth. She fell to her knees, the light filling her.

Uriel finished with the demon and cast it aside. "No!" His eyes were wide and locked upon Anna.

Ruby struggled to her feet. She hauled Sam off the ground and speared Dean with a look. This was their chance to run. They had to go, _now_. They were spectators to this fight, and if they didn't leave, they'd wind up dead.

Dean was gaping at Anna.

"Close your eyes," Anna mumbled weakly.

Sam swayed against the wall. He gripped Ruby's shoulder, his hands shaking violently. He called out to his brother, but his voice was smothered.

"Close your eyes!" Anna screamed, her voice finding its strength.

Ruby twisted and desperately dragged Sam towards the doorway.

From across the room, Dean snapped to his senses and lurched after his brother.

Sam's feet dragged upon the floor. His head lolled uselessly.

"Come _on_!" Ruby yelled, battling with Sam's weight and toppling them over the threshold.

Dean caught up with them. He grabbed Sam around the middle and the three of them flew through the doorway, tumbling out of the cottage and landing upon the gravel in a heap.

Ruby's breath left her lungs. Dirt caked her teeth.

Dean covered Sam protectively, sheltering both their faces and squeezing his eyes closed.

Ruby did the same, turning her face into the dirt. From behind her eyelids, she saw a blinding flash. The light was so brilliant, she thought she would evaporate. It lasted several seconds.

Then, just as quickly as it had come, it was gone. There was a great roar, and then everything fell into abrupt silence.

* * *

When the dust had settled and Dean had regained his senses, he sat up gingerly and blinked at the darkness surrounding them. All was quiet and still. Nothing stirred, not even the leaves on the trees. The silence enveloping them was a stark contrast to the chaos that had recently taken place.

From beside him, Ruby shifted and straightened. Her eyes darted questioningly over at the cottage.

Dean's hand still rested upon Sam's bare back. The younger man groaned and moved weakly, but Dean stopped him from sitting up.

"Dean?" Sam's voice was a muffled whisper, strained and coarse.

Dean didn't reply. The cottage was empty. He could tell just by looking at it that the demons and angels were gone. Anna was gone.

"Dean?" Sam asked again, this time a little more fearfully.

Dean let his eyes sag closed for a moment. Anna was gone, but Sam was here. He sucked in an unsteady breath. That was all that mattered. His eyes fell upon his brother. "It's alright," he lied, squeezing Sam's shoulder.

Sam's back was sticky with half-dried blood.

Dean's own blood froze at the thought of what Alastair had done to Sam. He wasn't sure that he was ready to deal with it.

"You two should get out of here," Ruby said stiffly, pushing to her feet.

Her words cut through to Dean. He forced himself to nod. He had so many questions he wanted to ask her regarding this evening, but he realized they would have to wait.

Without hesitating, Ruby leaned down and helped Dean haul Sam to his feet.

Sam tried to stand on his own, but was unsuccessful. He fell against his brother and mumbled something incoherent.

Dean steadied Sam as best he could. He tried to ignore the thick smell of Sam's blood, but it was difficult when Sam was so close.

_Alastair did this_.

Dean couldn't let his thoughts fix on the demon. If he did, he'd come undone.

Sam was hurt. Sam needed him.

"Go," Ruby repeated, stepping away from them.

Dean regarded her levelly. Did she know what Alastair was capable of? Dean hadn't told anyone about what had happened to him in Hell, yet her eyes shone with concern when she looked at Sam; and something close to sympathy when her gaze met Dean's.

The demons hadn't known where to find Anna, and Dean found himself wondering whether Ruby had led them here. He couldn't understand why Ruby would have done that. Unless the demons had threatened her, just like the angels had threatened Dean. His thoughts skipped over one another. _Perhaps_, he realized, _it wasn't so much what she was threatened with_. Perhaps it had more to do with what she'd lose; just like him.

Dean swallowed back his questions. _Another time_. He nodded at Ruby, wondering whether he owed her a thank you for saving Sam's life. His throat worked, but the word didn't make it over his lips. Instead he managed, "You watch your back."

She offered a tight smile. Then she disappeared into the darkness, seeming unable to get away fast enough.

Dean cast one more glance towards the cottage. He looked down at Sam.

Sam's face was hidden by his unruly mop of hair, his head bowed.

Dean wasn't looking forward to cleaning Sam's wounds. As much as he hated seeing his brother injured, he knew that this time around, patching Sam's cuts would mean opening cuts of his own; and finally having to deal with the scar tissue they'd left behind.

Moving ungracefully, Dean led them both to where he'd parked the Impala. His trusty old car waited for them, ready to carry them to their next destination. If his car could talk, Dean knew it would have a thousand stories to tell. It had seen them through thick and thin. It was the unsung hero of the Winchester family.

Sam sank into the passenger seat and leaned his head back, breathing jaggedly.

Dean's already battered heart took another blow as his eyes skimmed over Sam's front, counting the cuts. The Impala's interior light was dim, but it was enough to illuminate more than Dean wished to see.

Sam's face tilted towards him, and the younger brother blinked heavily. One of his eyes was swollen. His eyebrow was caked in blood from a cut that ran across his eyelid.

Dean cleared his throat abruptly, resisting the urge to pound the side of his car. Memories assaulted him. Alastair had carved him up, too. For years Dean had been the demon's plaything. Dean had never known pain like the pain Alastair had inflicted upon him. Now, the bastard had done the same to Sam.

"You okay?" Sam's voice was a dry croak.

Dean's eyes stung. He wasn't okay, but he nodded his head vigorously, brushing off Sam's concern. He knew how much Sam wanted him to open up about what had happened to him while he was in Hell, but Dean wasn't ready for it. Not yet. He wasn't ready to walk down that road.

Sam was shaking.

Dean stripped off his jacket, wondering why he hadn't done it earlier. He draped it over his brother, covering Sam's wounds. The blood was out of sight, but not gone.

"Anna…" Sam said quietly.

Dean wasn't ready to talk about Anna either. "She's gone," he replied simply.

She was gone, and she wasn't coming back.

Dean pushed away from the car and made sure Sam's limbs were all inside before closing the door. They had a few belongings in the cottage that he needed to collect. They couldn't leave traces of their presence behind, not when they were wanted by the feds and all of Heaven and Hell. Dean turned and jogged towards the building. Sometimes it felt like they were hunted by everything. All their lives, _they'd_ done the hunting. Now it was the other way around.

Dean slipped cautiously into the darkness of the cottage. He knew that it was empty, but still the events of the night had put him on edge. As quickly as he could, he grabbed Sam's books and scattered notes. Once he had them all bundled in his arms, he made for the door.

He paused on the threshold.

The night slept on, seemingly unscarred by what had recently taken place. Dean's heart still hammered, though his breathing had slowed to a more manageable pace. He let his eyes close briefly. He hadn't fully processed what had happened. His mind couldn't grip all that he'd witnessed, and there was a world of fear perched on the edge of his consciousness, ready to pounce.

Sam's books and notes were heavy in his arms. Dean clutched them tighter. Sam was safe. That was all that mattered. Alastair had tried to hurt Sam, but he hadn't broken Sam like he'd broken Dean. That was important.

Dean took a shaky step towards his car and his brother. Through the haze of fear and nightmarish memories within him, he caught the tail of a realization and latched onto it.

Hell had been horrific. Hell had been beyond words. Dean had seen and done and _become_ such terrible things, and the weight of what he'd gone through in that God-forsaken place was enough to crush him into a thousand pieces, and then crush those pieces again. But while he'd been there, Sam had been alive. _Because_ Dean had been there, Sam had been alive. What Dean had gained had far outweighed what he'd lost.

Sam didn't know the reality of Hell. It was the only thing Dean had successfully protected him against. And if it came down to it, Dean knew beyond a doubt; he'd do it all again.

Painfully, he swallowed back rising bile and pushed aside the monsters of his memories. He continued towards his brother and his car, quickening his pace. He would talk to Sam about Alastair when the time was right. Eventually, he'd share his burden with Sam; but not yet. Right now they had to get out of here. Dean had to find them a motel where he could safely clean Sam up, and patch his wounds.

_Patching wounds..._ Dean popped the trunk and dumped the books and notes inside. He'd been picking Sam up and putting him back together since they were kids. _If only I knew how to fix myself that way_. He slammed the trunk and rounded the vehicle to the driver's door. Jerking it open, he fell inside.

Sam was curled against the seat, tilted towards Dean, his face in shadows. His shoulders rose and fell with even breaths. He was sleeping.

Dean regarded his little brother. Sadness filled him, rising from somewhere deep inside his gut. It engulfed him. He shoved the key into the ignition and revved the engine, coaxing the car to life. Stars blinked down upon them, and Dean lifted his gaze to the night sky for a moment. Wherever Anna was, he hoped that she was happy.

_I doubt it_, he realized soberly, hollowly. He lowered his gaze again.

The Impala's headlights cut a path through the darkness, unveiling the way. Dean didn't know where they were headed; he just knew that they had to go. They had to keep on going until they couldn't go anymore, until there were no more roads to travel.

Ruby had been right to high-tail it out of here. Dean followed her lead, and stepped on the gas.

Sam was okay; that was all that mattered. His mind repeated it over and over, over and over...

So long as Sam was okay, Dean knew that he'd be right to keep on driving until the day the asphalt ran out. They'd keep on going until they reached their final dead-end. Then...

Well, then Dean just hoped they'd find something better than this.

Sam deserved a happy ending, at least.

* * *

**end**

**a/n: **_Like I said, I struggled with this episode and with writing this fic. Anyways, I just wanted to say a massive massive massive thanks to all of you who left comments on these one-shots week after week, you're all a very big encouragement! I'm not sure that I'll keep going when the season resumes. Hopefully we'll get some limp Sam and some Sam character development with whatever episodes are to come. Fingers crossed anyway ;) Have a fantastic Christmas and new year! Thanks again! X_


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